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The Swarm
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The Swarm
 
Writen By:anonymous
Date:2008-04-10
Name:The Swarm
Image:Image
Buy Now:Buy Now For $19.98 (price as of 2008-04-10)
Rating:1 out of 5
Summary:Cinematic torture, Irwin Allen style
Full Review:
I remember when I was a mere young one that I really wanted to see this film. It didn't play very long in the theater, and I never rented it on VHS. I knew it was going to be bad, but I decided to try it, figuring what the hell else is there to do in 2 1/2 hours? It was one of the worst decisions of my life. This is godawful. There's no way you can recommend this to anyone. Even Gen Xers, who seemed attracted to watching really bad movies and TV shows, would have a hard time enjoying this, in their terms, "ironically". This is the extra long, "roadshow director's cut" that runs an interminable 156 minutes. The film ran 114 minutes in the theaters, but they put this longer version on laserdisc. Warner put the 156 version on the DVD, and we're stuck with it. The performances are so badly over the top (especially Michael Caine and Slim Pickens) that you grimace and wished that you never rented this film. Sure, there are many unintentional laughs, but it's not worth renting the film for. There's even a silly romance between Fred MacMurray, Ben Johnson, and Olivia de Haviland that gets thrown in just to bore you even more. The many guest stars should be ashamed of themselves, but these disaster epics were very hip in the 1970's. It was one of those things where the celebrities of the day HAD to be in it (even then, celebrities had to be at the "hip" thing, no matter how awful it was). The featurette is actually interesting. It's kind of fun to listen to the actors talk about the horrible bees and how they were going to destroy the country (just like the Russian were going to invade and California was going to have a massive earthquake and fall into the ocean, two 1970's whoppers that never happened either). It's great to watch Irwin Allen acting like Mr. Auteur, capturing his "vision". Allen can make a decent film, like The Towering Inferno. But this is just inexcusable. There are boundless continuity flubs here. My favorite has to be the next to last scene. Richard Widmark, Michael Caine, and Katherine Ross are stuck in a high rise being attacked by bees. The army is armed only with flame throwers, but that don't stop the bees. The bees get Widmark (it's a spoiler, but I really hope you don't watch this, much less buy it), but somehow, Caine and Ross escape the building (we never find out how), and make it to an ocean shoreline where they destroy the bees. Did they pinch a cab in the middle of the bee storm? Or were the bees sleeping? Anyway, in conclusion, don't buy this. Please, don't buy this.


Date PM Rating ( # Votes )RatingReviewer
08/14/2008 View Review - 8/10 Derek_Fleek

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