Don't know much about the horror genre, but I do know The Descent made it a helluva lot of fun to be scared again, and after finally seeing this, I now realize what a tough act that is to follow. Since I don't actively seek out stuff in this vein, when I finally do get around to one, my preference is to come into it as cold as possible. I found out where it takes place, and it has Vampires. That was some months ago. There's no theatre here, so when I learned this was finally on dvd, that was enough. What else could possibly be needed to pique my interest? It's supposed to be where I live, and who doesn't like Vampires?



Now, if you're gonna throw some horror in the cold at me, then by all means, exploit this setting. If you have 30 days of night, and for the most part, no electricity, well... I think the least you could do is include some severe frostbite. The black and purple, swollen flesh that's oozin' pus variety. Try to gross me out, it's a horror movie. Think about it, a sub freezing environment and everyone that somehow manages to survive, still has all of their skin and fingers intact? gimme a break. This setting was just relegated to being nothing more than a white stage. One played solely for looks. I mean c'mon, the bogus factor is just maxed out. Fake snow, fake breath, nice fake scenery chock full of oversimplified images of what's Alaskan. please.



Also, with this much time in the bitter cold, these Vampires may as well have been shown feedin' on a whole lotta two legged popsicles. Instead, everyone's like frickin' fresh squeezed OJ. dang. C'mon man, at least try to get the obvious covered. Do you think that little of your audience? You gotta be smokin' Grandma's tundra buds to think no one is gonna notice any of this sh**.



On the plus side: There are some moments of "cool". I liked the Ditch Witch construction equipment, this is severely funny. It had me goin' "Yeah!". The utility plant scene, with the "muffin monster" (a brand name for an actual piece of equipment) is pretty fun as well. Oh and the most campy of all, the younger vampires. Hilarious.



But ultimately, the characters as victims, are ones I couldn't care less about. They're made out to be idiots incapable of doing anything more than what their pet dogs managed. Don't even get me started on the ending. One star each for the vampires, unintentional laughs, and the interesting sounds used throughout. This is definitely the kinda dvd you're better off borrowing from a friend. Which is exactly what I did.